
Damn you, Kai Ryssdal!
Maybe you heard this story from last week. Kai Ryssdal from NPR’s “Marketplace” reported that some crafty and clever developers in Southern California were taking home staging to a whole new level…
For those unaware, home staging involves bringing in furniture, baked goods, coffee, flowers, candles, bath towels, and so on to make a home look warm and livable to prospective buyers. Many sellers and their agents “stage” a home to varying degrees to make it more appealing, with the minimum effort consisting of some throw rugs, candles, music, and flowers. Some hire staging companies that charge upwards of $10k to bring in a full house-worth of furniture and associated accoutrements.
But these California developers have taken it a step further. A great big giant leap further. They hired actors to play neighbors in an otherwise ghost town of a subdivision! When the prospective home buyer pulls up, the “neighbors” are barbeque-ing on their patio, offering baked goods to the prospective buyer, sharing stories over the back fence about power tools that don’t actually exist, and basically riffing stories off of a well-developed “character backstory.”
You can read the entire article here.
The article even mentions how some savvy Realtors staged an entire neighborhood, with kids playing ball in the street, neighbors mowing lawns, dog walkers strolling down the street…
I was completely dumbfounded by this idea. How dishonest! How is this not fraud? This is simply taking an innocent idea waaay too far. When prospective homebuyers tour a home for sale, they know that the overly-perfect staging isn’t the homeowner’s actual stuff the same way you know the displays in a furniture store aren’t places where people actually live.
But this… this is a grand staged lie! Right? Right?!
Right. It was. But I didn’t realize it until I scrolled down to the bottom of the page. There it was, right there in black and white:
Thanks to the following for helping to stage our April 1 feature:
John Ezelle
Adrienne Flagg
Bill Barry
Michael Clapp
Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center
Okay, hold the phones- I know these people! I scrolled up- the article says it was recorded at a development called “Fox Run Estates,” about 90 miles north of Los Angeles…
But that’s weird… why would Adrienne Flagg (who is a very talented Portland actress I’ve met several times) and her cohorts from the IFCC in Portland (a theatre I have performed in as an actor myself) be doing a gig for a developer in Southern California? That didn’t make sense…
Then it hit me. Like a ton of bricks. Faux bricks. The kind made of styrofoam that bounce off your head without leaving a mark. “Josh, you dolt… look at the date on the article!”
April 1, 2009.
Damn you, Kai Ryssdal! You got me good! Happy April Fools’ Day to you, too!
[cue the foreboding music]
…but what if…
The market is in the tank… sellers have to get more creative to sell a property these days… it’s not such a stretch to think that something like this might be possible… a David Lynch-ian white picket fence type of perfect small town hiding a deep, dark secret- namely that it’s all an illusion…
Is it really so far off an idea? It makes one wonder if things continue to worsen, if we might see the next generation of staging include staged characters as an extention of the falsified furniture…
Now here’s an even crazier thought- what if a developer were to do this with commercial property?
An empty office building populated with entire suites of actors playing accountants, human resource managers, executive assistants? Like a staged version of NBC’s “The Office,” designed to make a building look more attractive and less like a ghost town?
Or let’s take it to an absolutely insane extreme- the market for retail properties is struggling mightily right now- what if you were to show a strip mall to a prospective buyer, staged to the hilt with actors playing shoppers, browsing the racks at stores that don’t really exist, rented cars in the parking lot making the property look well-trafficked…
Is that really far fetched? Crazy, yes, but implausible? Hmmm…
You could stage an entire neighborhood- houses, offices, retail centers… like a live-and-in-the-flesh version of Second Life… just to sell a property.
Mr. Lynch, I think I have your next film script outlined…
-Josh